Everything You Want
by KaterinaElise
Summary: this is pretty angsty right now, but you should know that it'll be pretty fluffy soon... anyway, i hope that you'll figure out who the characters are!
1. By the Lake

Everything You Want  
  
by Katerina*Elise  
(previously by Remus Lover)  
  
A/N- I'm not quite sure whether or not I actually posted this under  
my other name, but I hope that you enjoy this. I wonder if   
you'll figure out who the characters are... anyway, here ya   
go!   
  
  
**********  
  
Somewhere they're speaking, i'ts already coming in  
Oh, and it's rising at the back of your mind  
You never could get it, unless you were fed it  
Now you're here and you don't know why  
  
**********  
  
I stood on the edge of the lake at Hogwarts. For some reason, I just felt   
drawn to this place tonight. I could hear the squid swimming lazily in   
the warm waters and the wind drifted through my robes gently, warmly. I   
sat down slowly on the sandy beach and azed at the water that reflected   
the half moon and the stars in the rippling waves.  
  
This year was going to be both heaven and hell. I knew that. He was here   
again. I wouldn't just see him every now and then like I used to. It   
would be a daily thing. My cheeks were wet and I realized that I was   
crying. Would I be able to hide from what I felt? No, no. I don't feel   
anything. I can't love him... But I do! I love you-  
  
I heard a sigh to my right and spun around, scooting backwards quickly and   
noiselessly until I was behind a large rock. I wasn't supposed to be out   
of the school at this time of night.  
  
"She's here." I heard someone say. "Of course, I knew she would be but   
I'm not supposed to feel this way. It's wrong! But why does it feel so   
right?"  
  
I knew the voice now. It was him. What was he talking about?  
  
"Why do I feel this way? Why do I have to love her?" He was yelling at   
the sky, at God.  
  
My heart froze as my thoughts started to race. He loved someone? NO!!   
It couldn't be true! He couldn't love someone! It wasn't fair!  
  
**********  
  
But under skinned knees and the skid marks  
Past the places where you used to learn  
You howl and listen, listen and wait for the  
Echoes of angels who won't return.  
  
**********  
  
A wail of anguis was growing quickly in my throat. I had to let it out,   
but I couldn't be heard! I couldn't face him, not now that I know that   
he loves someone! I rose from my place on the ground and spun around,   
racing past the edge of the Forbidden Forest, unshed tears blurring my   
vision. I ran through the doors of the school, and past classroom after   
classroom until I reached my journey's end and entered the common room.   
I curled myself up into a chari in from of the fire and burst into the   
tears that I had been holding back for far too long.  
  
**********  
  
  
TBC  
  
A/N2-I must have 5 reviews before I'll give you the next part!  
  
A/N3-oh yeah... I need a beta reader really badly, so will someone  
please volunteer? Pweeese? 


	2. The Chase

Everything You Want   
  
By Katerina*Elise  
  
  
A/N-ok, ok, i know that i said that i was going to wait until   
i had five reviews, but i just couldn't wait that long!!!   
And yes, i know it's only been an hour since I put it up...  
so sue me. :) Enjoy!  
  
**********  
  
I was back. Back to the only place that really felt like home to me.   
I had missed the Sorting, though I didn't mind. There were really too   
many people and I didn't want to see her... Well, I did, bu not just   
yet.  
  
I finished unpacking my few belongings and looked out my window at the   
familiar scenery. I saw the Whomping Willow, Hagrid's hut, and the   
lake where I used to take so many secret midnight swims. So many happy   
memories here, so many happy people.  
  
Sudenly the room felt too small. I needed to get some air. I walked   
out of my room and onto the school grounds. Something inside me felt   
drawn to the silvery waters. I walked there slowly, reveling in the   
warm summer night and thinking how much I wanted to walk in the moon-  
light with-  
  
No. A sigh escaped my lips as I drew near to the shore. I looked at   
the moon that was so beautiful... Like her. My thoughts, usually so   
easy to control, seemed to drift to her every second.   
  
I spoke to the moon, my throat clenching with anger. "She's here. Of   
course, I knew she would be, but I'm not supposed to feel this way.   
It's wrong! But why does it feel so right?"  
  
It was a crazy idea that I had in my heart. Just the idea sounded   
ridiculous. How could someone so beautiful and innocent love something   
so ugly and evil as me?  
  
The cresent moon was leering at me, telling me it was impossible. "Why   
do I feel this way?" I yelled. "Why do I have to love her?"  
  
A sudden rush of sound to my left brought me out of my thoguhts and I   
saw someone dashing up to the school. Who was it? As they darted   
through the entryway doors, I realized that they had heard every word   
I had said. Suddenly scared, I raced quickly after them and just   
barely saw the being cutting corners all over the school. Abruptly, I   
found myself alone in a corridor. I stopped and looked around.  
  
Ahh... I was next to the Gryffindor common room. The person that had   
been running was a Gryffindor? I wonder... No, it couldn't be. //But   
I have to know!// I thought.  
  
Luckily, I knew the password to get in. I greeted the rather aggitated   
Fat Lady, who had just been interrupted from her night's sleep, and she   
let me in. As I crawled through the portrait hole, muffled weeping   
reached my ears.   
  
And there she was...  
  
Wait, why was she crying? Someone had hurt her! Anger flooded my body   
and blood pounded in my ears. If I found out who did this, I would kill   
him. Slowly. And painfully.  
  
I walked closer to her and could just barely make out words in between   
her racking sobs. "No, no. It's not true. He can't, he just can't!"  
  
I walked over to her and knew that I shouldn't be here. But I wanted   
to comfort her so badly. I reached out to her and put my hand on her   
back. Immediately, she stiffened and looked up. She saw me and her   
eyes widened. She drew back from my touch like it burned her.  
  
I looked down at her and felt my heart rip in two. She was afraid of   
me. But... My breath caught in my chest.   
  
I turned quickly and hurried out of the common room.  
  
**********  
TBC  
  
  
A/N2- hm... what do you think? ok, the third part will not be posted   
until i get my 5 reviews!!!! GRR!!! just see if i'm kidding,   
too! :-D anyway, thanks SOO much to Samantha Potter and Mona   
for the encouraging reviews. short but sweet, thanx again.   
  
A/N3- i'm STILL looking for a very nice beta reader!! Pwease? 


	3. True Confessions

Everything You Want  
  
by Katerina*Elise  
  
  
A/N-ok, ok... i'm not a patient person. ya'll took soo long to   
get my 5 reviews!!! oh well...  
  
**********  
  
He's everything you want   
He's everything you need   
He's everything inside of you   
That you wish you could be   
  
**********  
  
The memory of what had been said at the lake rang in my ears. Tears   
ran unchecked down my face. "No, it's not true. He can't, he just   
can't!"  
  
I felt a hand on my back and that simple touch sent tingles down my   
spine. I looked up and saw- Him! I drew back into my chair and   
stared. What was he doing here?  
  
His face fell and something in his eyes looked broken. He turned and   
fled into the hall.   
  
I sat shocked for a second. I love him! //Go tell him// a voice   
inside me screamed. "Wait." I whispered, wiping the tears off my   
face.   
  
I stood and ran into the hall. He wasn't there. "Wait." I whispered,   
slightly louder. I knew where he'd go, so I ran there, using the   
secret passages that Harry showed me. I would have to thank him   
tomorrow.   
  
I reached his office quickly. The door was closed. I knocked softly,   
and when no one answere, I pushed it open. He was standing at the   
window, his knuckles (A/N2-how in heck do you spell that?) showed white   
as his fingers gripped the sill. Shis voice was soft and full of   
emotion. "Mr. Filch, I don't care who's out of bed right now."  
  
I closed the door behind me and walked over to him, placing my had over   
his. I felt him shiver while my own body began to heat up. He looked   
at my had for a few moments then looked up into my face. His eyes   
looked broken and like there was no reason left for him to live.  
  
"Why did you run away?" I asked.  
  
"You were scared of me." He replied, his honey-colored eyes falling to   
our hands again.  
  
"Hardly." I replied. "I was more afraid of what I would say to you."  
  
I drew closer to him. "I shouldn't even tell you what I'm about to.   
You love someone, don't you?"  
  
He nodded.   
  
My heart cried out in pain and a tear ran down my cheek. He stepped   
away from the window and walked to a chair.   
  
"I know it's wrong. But I can't help it." I began again. "I've tried...   
It doesn't work. I don't expect anything from you, and I'm not going   
to let my feelings towards you change anything, but... well, I thought   
you should know. I love you."  
  
"What?" He looked up at me in shock and I turned and looked out the   
window. "I love you, Remus."  
  
I heard him get up. "I love you." I said again, tears flowing freely   
now. "I'm sorry. It's just..."  
  
"Shhh..." I turned and he was right beside me. His hand came up to   
cradle my cheek and his thumb gently brushed away a stray tear. He   
lifted my chin and I could see that his eyes were lit with a new light   
that made him look years younger. His arm wrapped around my waist and   
pulled me close to him. He leaned down and brushed his lips softly to   
mine.   
  
My heart felt like it was going to burst as he whispered, "I love you   
too, Hermione."  
  
TBC, if ya want  
**********  
  
A/N3- yaya!!! I got up the next part!!! and i got 6 reviews!!! *sniff,  
sniff* i luff you all! Thanx to mona (i've written more!),   
samantha potter (i wanted it confusing), ginny riddle (good guess!  
what tipped you off?), The Serious One (nice try... and i may end  
up writing a draco/ginny fic... never thought about it. Thanx!),  
ViperGURL27 (thanx, that's nice of you to say!), and to the   
wonderful anonymous one (i just updated, so nah!!! :-P). anyway,   
tell me if you want it continued, i have some more ideas!!! Ciao! 


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